Written by Ustadh Sirnucy Lafiagi
As far back as the 80s, and down to late 90s, wedding introduction as we see it today (especially down South) was not in vogue. Today, a lot of money is being spent on mere frivolities in the name of wedding introduction without doing the proper ‘aqd that makes the relationship between the prospective couples legal. What we witness today is a complete departure from the true Islamic norm and teachings.
As I mentioned earlier in Episode One , as soon as the lady’s father (or his designate/representative) agrees to the proposal, a formal sitting is expected to be arranged between himself and the intending couple and a few people (at least two just individuals, males or females) from either or both families (or even strangers) as witnesses.
At the sitting, it is recommended for the would-be bride’s father (or his designate/representative, or the groom to be or any of the witnesses around or anyone who he chooses to officiate the occasion) to recite the Prophet’s Khutbatul-Haajah. Shaykh bn Baaz wrote:
ﻓﺎﻟﻌﻘﺪ ﻳﺤﻀﺮﻩ ﺃﺭﺑﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﺰﻭﺝ ﻭﺍﻟﻮﻟﻲ ﻭﺍﻟﺸﺎﻫﺪﺍﻥ، ﻭﺍﻷﻓﻀﻞ ﺃﻥ ﻳﻜﻮﻥ ﻗﺒﻠﻪ ﺧﻄﺒﺔ، ﺧﻄﺒﺔ ﺍﻟﻨﻜﺎﺡ ﻫﺬﺍ ﺍﻷﻓﻀﻞ ﻭﻫﻲ : ﺇﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﻤﺪ ﻟﻠﻪ ﻧﺤﻤﺪﻩ ﻭﻧﺴﺘﻌﻴﻨﻪ ﻭﻧﺴﺘﻐﻔﺮﻩ ﻭﻧﻌﻮﺫ ﺑﺎﻟﻠﻪ ﻣﻦ ﺷﺮﻭﺭ ﺃﻧﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﻭﻣﻦ ﺳﻴﺌﺎﺕ ﺃﻋﻤﺎﻟﻨﺎ، ﻣﻦ ﻳﻬﺪﻩ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻓﻼ ﻣﻀﻞ ﻟﻪ، ﻭﻣﻦ ﻳﻀﻠﻞ ﻓﻼ ﻫﺎﺩﻱ ﻟﻪ، ﻭﺃﺷﻬﺪ ﺃﻥ ﻻ ﺇﻟﻪ ﺇﻻﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻭﺣﺪﻩ ﻻ ﺷﺮﻳﻚ ﻟﻪ، ﻭﺃﺷﻬﺪ ﺃﻥ ﻣﺤﻤﺪ ﻋﺒﺪﻩ ﻭﺭﺳﻮﻟﻪ . ﺛﻢ ﻳﻘﺮﺃ ﻗﻮﻟﻪ ﺗﻌﺎﻟﻰ : ﻳَﺎ ﺃَﻳُّﻬَﺎ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻳﻦَ ﺁﻣَﻨُﻮﺍْ ﺍﺗَّﻘُﻮﺍْ ﺍﻟﻠّﻪَ ﺣَﻖَّ ﺗُﻘَﺎﺗِﻪِ ﻭَﻻَ ﺗَﻤُﻮﺗُﻦَّ ﺇِﻻَّ ﻭَﺃَﻧﺘُﻢ ﻣُّﺴْﻠِﻤُﻮﻥَ، ﻳَﺎ ﺃَﻳُّﻬَﺎ ﺍﻟﻨَّﺎﺱُ ﺍﺗَّﻘُﻮﺍْ ﺭَﺑَّﻜُﻢُ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻱ ﺧَﻠَﻘَﻜُﻢ ﻣِّﻦ ﻧَّﻔْﺲٍ ﻭَﺍﺣِﺪَﺓٍ ﻭَﺧَﻠَﻖَ ﻣِﻨْﻬَﺎ ﺯَﻭْﺟَﻬَﺎ ﻭَﺑَﺚَّ ﻣِﻨْﻬُﻤَﺎ ﺭِﺟَﺎﻻً ﻛَﺜِﻴﺮًﺍ ﻭَﻧِﺴَﺎﺀ ﻭَﺍﺗَّﻘُﻮﺍْ ﺍﻟﻠّﻪَ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻱ ﺗَﺴَﺎﺀﻟُﻮﻥَ ﺑِﻪِ ﻭَﺍﻷَﺭْﺣَﺎﻡَ ﺇِﻥَّ ﺍﻟﻠّﻪَ ﻛَﺎﻥَ ﻋَﻠَﻴْﻜُﻢْ ﺭَﻗِﻴﺒًﺎ، ﻭﻗﻮﻟﻪ ﺳﺒﺤﺎﻧﻪ : ﻳَﺎ ﺃَﻳُّﻬَﺎ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻳﻦَ ﺁﻣَﻨُﻮﺍ ﺍﺗَّﻘُﻮﺍ ﺍﻟﻠَّﻪَ ﻭَﻗُﻮﻟُﻮﺍ ﻗَﻮْﻟًﺎ ﺳَﺪِﻳﺪًﺍ * ﻳُﺼْﻠِﺢْ ﻟَﻜُﻢْ ﺃَﻋْﻤَﺎﻟَﻜُﻢْ ﻭَﻳَﻐْﻔِﺮْ ﻟَﻜُﻢْ ﺫُﻧُﻮﺑَﻜُﻢْ ﻭَﻣَﻦ ﻳُﻄِﻊْ ﺍﻟﻠَّﻪَ ﻭَﺭَﺳُﻮﻟَﻪُ ﻓَﻘَﺪْ ﻓَﺎﺯَ ﻓَﻮْﺯًﺍ ﻋَﻈِﻴﻤًﺎ
“Four people are required to be present at the ‘aqd:
- The husband,
- The Waliy (bride’s father), and,
3 & 4. At least two witnesses.
It is more preferable to recite the Khutbah of Nikaah before the solemnization. The Khutbah goes thus….. “All praise is due to Allah…..”
After the recitation of this short speech (please, note that it is not compulsory but highly recommended), the father will now join the couple together by saying:
ﺯَﻭَّﺟْﺘُﻚَ / ﻭَﻫَﺒْﺘُﻚَ / ﺃَﻋْﻄَﻴﺘُﻚَ / ﺃَﻧْﻜَﺤْﺘُﻚَ /
ﻣَﻠَّﻜْﺘُﻚَ ﺍﺑْﻨَﺘِﻲ ﻓُﻼﻧَﺔَ
Meaning: “I have given my daughter (name must be mentioned) to you as wife”.
Immediately, the would-be groom will respond by simply saying
ُI have accepted…..
Apart from the Khutbah which should be recited in Arabic, all other communication can take place in a any other language understood by the congregation, including sign language).
In addition, both the offer and acceptance must be made in past tense: “I have given…”, “I have accepted”. Using present or future tense is not acceptable.
Once this is done, the two lovebirds can now be referred to as husband and wife. They can now be together in seclusion and enjoy themselves sexually. It is highly recommended for the groom to bring up the issue of Sadaaq (dower) at the ‘aqd sitting to ensure that all components are complete.
The dower can be paid by any of the following three means:
- Upfront (completely);
Installmentally (based on mutual agreement);
Promise (to pay later at an agreed date).
To be continued…..